i’ve had all the money
connections
places and items
but nothing that i’ve ever wanted
taunted by the ideas
and needing of memories
and i just sat pleading
for something other than my own
and it was unrealistic
misleading, didn’t feel like i was exceeding
and i threw 250
said thank you
but i need a take two
found a way, followed through
but what was so mean
was that your favorite color was green
go figure
i knew that scene
that picture
except you could never consider
and always so bitter
i saw the light flicker
all too often
so i always sat with caution
and one day while you were in boston
it was autumn
and i was about to hit rock bottom
so i gave it a solemn
good bye
and i lost all the problems
and gained a vast knowledge
didn’t gossip
and stayed honest
just like i promised
-
-
i wish i was five
and i was fine
and i didn’t have to lie
didn’t need someone to be mine
and never felt some incline
never had to stand at the battle line
to find a signnow i just take a sip of red wine
try to align
some star in the sky
always standing on a fault line
nothing can ever be devine‘cause when you grow old
everything begins to show
and it’s hard to lie low
and all you want is to get by
the days begin to pass by
and you grab a pillow
and begin to cry
not looking for a hero
but you look up
look out the window
and realize
it’s no good to live
in limbo -
you stood there and said
he’s one of the good guys
to your friend
said I was conservative
and proper
and i’m never going to let it go
because it was honest, candid
and it made me find a way from the darkness
i put my hand in my pocket
and just looked at you
smiled and nodded
and made side comments
it was all nonsense
but i felt my monsters
getting a complex
becoming perplex
and out of respect
they began to disconnect -
take me back
when it was easy
when it was cheesy
cliche
but i guess that’s so far away
and you can’t win me back in a day
but you probably could
‘cause i’m a fool
and you’re a ghoul
and i’m used to it
abused because of it
misused while you’re amused
do you feel moved
or essentially smooth
watching me speak the truth
going damn
i’m a heart breaker
but no, you’re just danger
a good debater
player
and i’m just cigarette paper
since you lit me up
and smoked me for what i was
and then joked
about how much i hoped
and choked
so i laid around and coped
after i’d been roped
and doped
next time i won’t provoke
or hope anyone will approach
’cause i don’t wanna feel broke
be another practical joke
lie in posion oak
won’t breathe the smoke
so i won’t choke
i’ll just wear my cloak
hide and revoke -
fuck me
i don’t give it up that easily
said ever so facetiously
have some decency
you ain’t getting this so hastefully
i need there to be electricity
i need you to lie there obediently
sworn to secrecy
because this’ll all be done illegally
and honey
you’ll be coming back seasonally
because this ain’t no travesty
and i don’t wanna leave you in agony
after i take you to another galaxy
and leave you randomly
all this sensuality
i want you to have the mentality
know the formality
that i don’t have morality
and the reality
is that i suffer from insanity
and this fantasy
is going to leave
a casualty -
i become proud of myself
when i look at the clock
five minutes pass
and i come to the realization
that i haven’t thought about you
for five whole minutes
but then it all comes back
and i’m off the beaten track
once again
i become defeated
and all i want is freedom
yet i become pieces
and weaken
and fall short of entrance
to the garden of eden
and i see the demon
in the distance
and it deepens
this winter season
at every dinner
i’ll leave out a plate
it’ll be quaint
and i’ll sit with restraint
there won’t be a complaint
i won’t faint
‘cause i know you’re not a saint
and you’ll no longer taint
and i’ll become stronger
and soon
i won’t think about you
or set a plate for you
any longer -
a beautiful mind
how intuitive that is
ain’t so usual over here in malibu
lyin’ by the ocean
waiting for a motion
asked you a question
but all i get is aggression
i look at you
and i see the great depression
i always talk about how sad you are
it’s usually always business
but i’ve seen happiness
and i’ve witnessed nastiness
i wish i could say i’ve seen venus
and i want to say i’ve formed a genius
but i can’t
and i could rant
about how much i hate you
but i love you so much more
and i can’t seem to find the door
when i adore
and i look at the shore
and wonder
when i won’t feel like this
anymore -
love me
want me
give me the attention i deserve
send me to detention
question me
take me to another dimension
living in the fifth dimension
i said take me to heaven
lose the tension
no apprehension
make me your obsession
give me affection
i need this connection
and bring me all the protection
‘cause when i’m done
you won’t breathe for seconds
and i’ll lengthen this session
give you an education
and you’ll need redemption
from this seduction -
little boy
i told you
i’m just a ghost
here to tell you
all about the innocence
the infamous
the frivilous
the impetuous
wickedness
and give you a sense
of diligenceit’s a down dirty road
here on out
regardless the zip code
i need you to find a serious mode
‘cause it’s about to get mysterious
and you’ll become delirious
of who you are
and who you might become
it’ll be genius
but jesus won’t help you
and sometimes it’ll be hideous
you’ll become devious
and cynical
and clearly fearlessbut it takes a moment to find your position
and you’ll wish every christmas
that you figure it out
and it might take your children’s children
but eventually
you’ll figure it out
and the picture will become bigger
and you’ll become the fisher
no longer needing
fixture -
when i sleep my mind remains open, you stay and frolic
started to become an alcoholic, ever so melancholic
this is all symbolic and there is no logic, it lies behind
the feeling was cosmic and now it’s toxic
like i’m being held hostage and the topic is chronic
every day i feel more lethargic, lost somewhere in the arctic
i look in the mirror and yell, “you’re fucking garbage”
i wish i could see clearer but it rains of terror
am i lost in the reign of terror and this is forever
i look, i try to endeavor and throw out effort
i throw on my leather and venture, looking back
i see no pressure, here i go… another adventure
in my mind, it’s together forever, but in life, it’s together never
