to slide into these rocks
where the granite feels
almost too heavy to hold
and i’m fighting a stone
like a wall
like something i’ve known
once before
i tango between
these walls
like borders keeping me still
and i feel like i’ve seen you before
i said it to you
which i had
but we don’t always speak
as if we’re sure of ourselves
and i stand here
across a table
looking into what i thought
might be mine
and it’s like we’re mining
our emotions
pulling little pieces
from places we don’t know
how to reach
i can’t tell if it’s right or wrong
if i’ve hit the wall
or if i just love
the feeling of standing this close to it
i stand before myself
in this mirror
and talk through
all the thoughts i have
the ones that move too quickly
the ones i gave meaning
before they had the chance
to become anything at all
maybe i took this
a little too fast
we make horrors in our heads
about what happens
when things begin to happen
and i speak to myself
like a song
trying to find the tune
trying to place you
where i believe you belong
i take my thoughts
and give them meaning
i paint you a song
a hand that could hold
a violin if it wanted
because a man who stands
and looks like you
makes me believe
he could do almost anything
and i take the first string
to give you a beat
and i stand
just to watch
the way your eyes move
the way they fall away from mine
and i tell myself
maybe it’s nerves
but the song carries
a tune i know too well
like a hand against a drawer
that will not open
and still i pull
thinking maybe
if i try a little softer
it might
i think i can paint this faster
create the ending
i thought it deserved
but endings do not always
arrive when we ask
i take five minutes
a little too long
and i look at you
like i wanted
like i could have
like if time would stay
just a little longer
something might finally
make itself known
they say the clock strikes
and our turns are over
but time keeps playing
long after the room empties
and i am thankful
for whatever it gave me
because what is a life
if we are not thankful
for the little moments
that somehow become
the larger picture
i thank you
for this song
one i can sing
one i can carry
without asking
where it was meant to end
you find happiness
in little things
in where we place them
in where i can paint them
in where i can walk
and imagine all the things
i thought i could
we are given imagination
for a reason
to wonder
to ask
to reach
even when the answer
does not reach back
and maybe that is enough
the time it takes
to build a life
i would like to keep
the time i would give back
the softness i still give
to people who pass through it
thank you for this gift
a river and a stone
one keeps moving
one stays where it is
and somehow
both are changed
by the touch
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