i talked with angst
he addressed with liquor
uncontrolled substance
he never knew
you love a man
and dip below
folding your own
arms in echo
i felt without you
you’ll feel
without them
loneliness in between
swaying in a song
i overplayed
hands at neck
choking on a thought
where we decay in truth
a fading love
and i’m with you
in night
searching for a mind
with gardens instead of earthquakes
a divine light in the essence of what could be
there he lies in oceans instead of rivers
standing forth for a greater being than himself
he’s riding in tune to a devotion of black and blue
wading in queue for a moments time
and he’s lighting candles to connect with energy
telepathy said otherwise
conversations with a man who spoke evil
we’re falling but laughing
crying but standing
in nostalgia of what was
confusing demons with heaven
hell with angels of twists in the mind
dividing ourselves in time
lying to save what was for what could have been
i say his name
five times too many
in the echoes of our divide
tattoos on my neck
rip scars to plenty
and i speak his essence
in candlelight
triggered words we said
in little white lies
he paints his voice
yet i still hear
i say his name
for a sixth time too many
we’re twirling under the red light
with sirens in the background
masking the truth from our view
rose colored glasses aren’t rose
if the lies create fumes
and what we said wasn’t true
you speak of love
when you’re lost
and everything makes sense
when you’re dancing in the fault
jazzing at edges
we were scared to talk to
we’re touching lips
in the midst of our demise
feeling his hands
and they feel like hell
we’re at each other’s neck
kissing death
and i feel it
triumph and horror written on hotel paper
sweat drips from his back
we’re dancing in devastation
i’m watching his love in grip of men
who twirled between this
and i thought i felt it
but what was it
i lie in intention
to be abused
avoiding you in attention to feel blue
and i rise in defeat
scars on my feet
from walking down alleys of my past
speaking in truth
masochist in disguise
and i’m crying in happiness of what was
thinking i loved you
but we’re dying and rhyming
twisting tongues to make sense
27 with lips red
breaking your achilles to feel you
dancing in black and your mood
midst of last night
kissing lips under streetlights
pushed against
crying against
lying against
little white lies never hurt you
because you never knew
what you got yourself into
he didn’t understand truth
of ourselves in darkness
i slip on this
to remember words in the kitchen
of a moment that would never end
thousand dollar men
hear noise in the night
of their spine curving in torture
of a damp mind
he sings a tune of ideas
crying with echoes as if he’s born like this
can you cry without a soul
or feel anything at all
lying in streets of heaven
thoughts dipped in gravy
lingering in daze of ‘97
twirling in our essence
he feels my moment
while i feel if he’s there
i’m wading with a ghost of my past
kissing demons in seconds
i thought could never end
and he grabs my hand
runs through my core
dripping sweat in hell
as i look in the reflection for warmth
you said it mattered
but i didn’t
i’m kissing the mirror of a man who’s ego
shattered
in thought of happy
you kiss men in shadows
not because they’re shadows
because they’re dark enough
in theory
that possibly all of this never happened
