i used to be
broken by muse
of men in terror
by shadows of hatred
for thyself
yet cracks linger
like memories behind
walls built by oceans
to hold rapids from
caving the sands of our beings
we tire ourselves with motions
instead of moments
broken between steps we walk
like cement and shoes
repeating each step
emotion lingers with rotation
slow dancing in tempo
we’ve danced all too well
yet desire only sparks
when two question
life’s entire meaning
-
-
I never fell in love with you. I fell in love with the idea of us together.
-
i’m lying
on your lips
falling beneath
your kiss
and i’m turning in time
skipping on fine lines
between the vertebrae
of your spine
breaking moods
to break this
like your eyes against mine
foreheads against glass
looking for words
lost past
walking along rivers
where love once had
grasp on my feet
slipping on teeth
where gloss left me
your thighs against mine
passion and fire
my lonely desire -
i fall beneath your feet
twisting on words we said
in darkened moments
with throwing knives at doors
we used to twirl through
and it was your hair
against my neck
as we laid in each others grasp
i feel you in night
breaking but bending
in broken might
i might’ve never said i loved you
but i did without words
with touch
with your eyes in mine
a clairvoyant doesn’t speak
but we speak to them
in darkened eves
in flowers
in essence
in trends with winds
from birds to spiders
i crawled your spine
you gave me life
and in your marrow
i found not even the slightest fright -
we were
twisting between details
of our skin
to embrace ourselves
in the slightest
i told you i loved you
but a mirror speaks volumes
and we’re staring in this
to feel somewhat
but secure fails
we’re watching ourselves
talking to ourselves
creating ideas of beauty
we hold with regard
but we twist
mirrors crack
details fade
we’re transitioning in decay
our brains on fire
we’re not looking the same -
eyes like lightning
i concentrate on his beauty
to twist in positions i miss
like tastes and motions
where we frolic in rapids
leading to seas where we shipwreck
on emotion
like men in turn to be
breaking to become
questions and hatred
i speak, but i speak in tongues
to make sense of what it was
we find truth in rhythm
broken rhymes
where we dance between grips
we left on shoulders i miss
and i tell you
a dozen times
how you love to love
we lust to call
conversations in mountains
with fire burning
we were slow dancing
with feet atop each other
to step
but without thought
to kiss
without
we fall -
The last words were good night because I couldn’t fathom goodbye. We pretend in certain situations to guard ourselves from breaking.
-
in days i write
for seas at edge
bending to be
rather than without you
and i quake for rivers
in tears i swallow
like pride and your eyes
digging into mine
we bend to break
to feel like rib cages
around my heart
which feels like vitality
i used to tell myself
to dance instead of wallow
but toxicity consumes
egos flourish
satan dances on your shoulder
to twist in sin
felt like your lips on my back
with windows opened
the mist transcends
and i can almost feel you
again
but i hear you in night
your eyes from shadows
i used to tell myself it was love
but love only hurts in certain occasions
and what we tell ourselves
is merely filters to make sense
of something we can’t let go
i danced for you
thighs and edges
vhs tapes you left beside
where nostalgia set us
your lips and sins
broken rib cages
it was all in vain
yet you were all in my veins -
I wrote you a song. You didn’t understand it for all of the screaming, yet that was the metaphor.
-
and i fall asleep
between the floorboards of your heart
wondering where we strayed from worlds apart
like your hands around my thighs
screaming in winds of pain
between oceans and seas
of our love we ice on cakes in mars
in form or dare and truth
hidden views in tide pools
i said i’d always love you
yet how do you see
without a view
