walking the night
no end in sight
got my highs, my lows and my fright
my eyes set on you
i rhyme with time, i cry — i do
still think of you
used to reminisce from my window
us down bronson
dinner for two, a movie under the dark blue
too bruised, needed a move
you have no clue
you were too often, everywhere and all of it
you were with as i grooved within us
the grace was just you
those eyes, your selfish ways
but my words, you knew me
future to paris, think of venice
remember you, smile and laugh
i’ll always love you and i’m fine with it
cotton candy skies
pride on my sleeve
i ride tonight
this life is for me and i don’t want you to see
i’m far from free, far from me
tied to a pool
drowning for you
time soothes, the past is cruel
think of you, always that i see you
in bed, you’re in my head
we went rounds, i’m still falling down
you’re still around town
i even feel you now
my voice fills with hesitation, anxiety
my inquiry was out of pure innocence
i ramble, just wanted
the things i miss
i look at the moon, i see you… i do
i believed in you, spoke your name with intensity
said your name with such respect
but now tears submerge the shower
and all that was once, became lost
you’re gone, i understand
i know things take time, but i wish upon the turn of a dime
i know you were never mine, i guess that’s fine
but i was always yours
and i’m still at the door
pull your hair
whisper in your ear
ever been to hell?
your scent, your smell
lick the gun
i’ll never let you go
you’re mine and this is it
kiss your neck
taste your sweat
fucking beg
i’ll threat — you’re in my debt
i’ll kill, i’ll kiss
just to feel this
bliss
lying in bed with thoughts i shouldn’t
it’s like life’s a game and i gave you my last
now when i talk of you, i cry
i shouldn’t, i promised i wouldn’t
these chapters of love
you’ll never understand what you did to me
i move, but never with grace
long for days you were here
the way i looked in your eyes
friday night, how you kissed my cheek
apologized a thousand times
but you still don’t understand
i stand still, remember an occasional we’ll
how you made your coffee
like a zombie, i say your name softly
looking for words other than you
the dark blue, the stars glimmer
your eyes all night long
back to everything
our story, but this time
i’ll wait in the lobby
three stories
a glass house
deep down malibu
stairs of cherry wood
the attitude, the last drop of alcohol
so vulnerable, i frolic in memories like these
under the apple tree
before values killed me, before i cared for anything
a drop of silence, never asked for
the leaves fall, the clear, your curls, your maltese
i never felt more at ease
just looking for emotional release
the year, your fears
vodka under the stars
lights forever dim
never tears as we always knew hours were slim
just him, us
every limb
but i never miss
as it was just this
i never did mind
i swear i’ve lived a thousand times
i’m not scared to die
i welcome it, i do
i sleep with blues
it kills to live without you
all metaphorical in a sense
i often wish to repent
but i need blues like i need food
feeling cruel and abused
absurd questions of without tomorrow
i ask myself if i can live without horror
but the feeling of torture burns my soul
i know the void, the cold
the darkness from being bold
i know, i know
this life is getting old
but i sip my whiskey
wonder if my past will miss me
if i can do this again
if next time i’ll truly repent
words stop, i can’t seem to grasp
is this really happening?
every question i could ask, every moment i wished
standing right before me, is this the finish?
through the mist, i always wished for a shift
a way to kiss once again
how things go adrift and you miss
but i never thought this would come, especially amidst
i did, i do – i miss you
always think of you, the blue
the way we moved, how you held my hand
but last night, it’s like i’m alive again
this weekend would’ve been a year
i just stood there, looked at your hair
how i saw you, thought to myself
us again, but i couldn’t – at least for now
eleven, eleven – always a wish
i laughed, how i said i shit as soon as i saw him
how he pulled me in, apologized a thousand times
saw i was about to cry
he never realized what he did
words upon words
even mentioned us walking to birds
said he remembers it all
god, i wanted to bawl
the cd’s i thought you trashed
said you still listen and just like that
i was gone
but you still smelled the same
you said you gained, but i looked at you
told you how i was always honest with you
nothing was ever out of the blue
i could go on, but thank you
you know i’ll always love you
always on the run, always held a gun
but possessed with great beauty
she never knew, never had a sense of importance
never held the hand of someone she thought was handsome
life was cruel, she always knew
selfless to her own needs, she stayed under sheets
she pleased, ran with screams
set the midnight free and never spoke the words, “i need”
along the interstate, she ran
never truly had, never mad — always pleased
always had the tendency to help another
ran forever, helped whomever
the day she died
she looked him in the eyes
without words
i’ll love you forever
