I was pacing in your kitchen. Thinking of ways I’d miss you. How the summer brings light. The night brings dark. Our minds intertwining and becoming nothing but just you and I in a moment with nothing else.
People need truth and the truth is, I didn’t need you. I wanted you. You wanted me, I assume. This is why we worked. We didn’t need each other. We didn’t fill a void in each other. We flowed in time and when our time expired, it was over. You were floating, I was flowing. I was searching and in a bittersweet reality, I was going. Experiences mean more than what we give them. I love and I lose and it’s never a loss because experiences don’t bring losses, they give strength. We learn, we love, and we move on.
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I trade truth for life. Honesty for dignity. Darkness for light. But I wouldn’t trade your eyes at night for anything.
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His voice was the saddest song I’ve ever heard until I saw him at 3 am begging to see me.
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I was nineteen. We were in your library, covered in sheets, seeking for something we both couldn’t have and seemingly, that’s where our love stemmed from. We make motions in men. I made moments in you. Moments I couldn’t have. Things which couldn’t make sense. I still hear the song in the background. The tiles of your bathroom. This wasn’t love. This was lust.
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six years too deep
i feel you stumbling
in and out
as we echo in truth
sip our drinks to feel use
a sullen muse
i break and bend in a moments time
recall the coffee beans of tuesday morning
your knees against mine
the sheets upon i
with a touch i could feel
six years and i call
a man in sheets feeling for reason
your mind against mine
a mime in my life
your house with no rules
a couch with dents to prove
and i move in time
twenty two to twenty eight
a period of youth twined with intelligence
you were always just but
a darkened corner in a room
with thought
sentences i could break
your mind twined with mine
arms around mine
a cemetery which spoke
i scream your name in thought
but only you could understand
only this would make sense
your eyes with mine
legs against mine
a mind in july
you and i -
i dance in thought behind sullen walls
to cross and break or peer from beyond of what it takes
to feel i fall for the devils i call
in my mind at night i dream to what it could be
and i would but i wouldn’t because what it takes is pure sanity
which is what i feel before i could breathe
your song in mind
we’re dancing and it becomes instantly fine
have you ever been touched by the darkness at night
when the shadows breathe and you’re suddenly here
before me at night in mirrors i look
they call it a reflection but i
can’t seem to find this person in mine
it looks all but lost
in darkness i call for thoughts which were
never here or never there
as you were standing behind your fireplace
looking out but never in this
direction i spent in your bed with alcohol ridden smell
you were nothing but
as we were all that it was
chapter seventeen in a book where pages never seemed
to be in order and lies you couldn’t see them
it was a hymn but in purgatory
words in pure honesty
and i still feel you
in the air at twenty-three
and in five years you’re dancing in thin air
on river lea
and here i stand in nineteen with pure sanity -
i write to taste your lips
in my mind i wade in the past
to find a thought i once had
with your knees twined against
the pillows at night
where cold sheets cover our chest
i transcend to a place where
our moment was once at last
to dance in the false of my mind
chaos in our red wine
to sip upon my tongue
do i let or devour you all
and i bring the horrors in front of me
shake the hands of men i used to please
how your shallow broke my virtue
i write you poetry to free thee
and our echoes make sense
but i don’t call you again
because once is for you
the second is mine to keep
you either break or fall
i either bend or grasp
your hand shakes twice
yet i hold onto mine
wrists twist but not for you
they pull for the one in need
the one in future tense
past brings once
to keep it there is debonair
i free from this like words on my lips
screams in my mind
i fly like birds in the night
and sound rather still
a pill i need is no longer there
for i is what i have
and time is the only thing i have
a sacred memory
to let is to let go
for you i once used to hold -
The rapids only take because you have to learn how to pull through.
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You can’t make men out of shadows because shadows hold darkness. You create from light to bring truth.
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i pull triggers on your neck
hairs of your sin
scars on my back
blend into thoughts of you
like a dark swing
moving in the night
back and forth
in motion of what was us
transcending to black
