nightmare

yelling, screaming, saw a side of me you had never seen
the truth was all there, my fears were all of you
our conversation was genuine, but the words i forced
how you saw my rage, anger and forces you’ve never

you said you can’t while i cried in your lap
friends said i was crazy, that you should give up
that i wasn’t worth the time, but i knew the difference
how the spit drew, the thoughts you always knew

my innocence was your basking and my grasping was never your asking
everything i feared sat in front of me with eyes that oozed
the background said yield while i held my shied
ready for battle even though i never had him, but my truth knew
the way your body curves, how we moved, the way we grooved together

words rise, i understand highs and lows
the way things grow and blow with the wind, sink with the ocean
strange from sea, sing with skies of the night and storm for thee
yet things, they slow, pace without you and suddenly you’re gone
stroking the bomb of what once was, waiting for it to detonate
i’ve had my cake and maybe he never asked for it
the nightmares still linger and the details are like fingers, digging for harm even though you knew my love for you was always warm

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