Sometimes I still think of you. It’s usually when the night’s chilly and nostalgia sets in. We remember moments to create bittersweet realities of past adventures which weren’t so. It wasn’t nice, it wasn’t fun, it was anxiety ridden and my mind created false memories to help sole the situation. It doesn’t help, it hurts, and that’s the reality you must remember when your mind gets the best of you.
October 2020
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I received everything I wanted when I hadn’t wanted anything. Why? Because I didn’t need anything. I was content in my space. Relying on myself. Reveling in me. Not curious of who I wanted to be.
Being content is almost scary. It feels robotic at times. It’s standing in front of a mirror and being okay with what you see. That’s scary to some people. That used to be scary to me.
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to feel at ease i bend you between
sheets of meadows, fires we reap
i dance in thought in memory
still feel you breathe
in oasis i converse with myself at night
to touch and feel you right
where i seemed to leave you
a darkened corner, in horrible moments
taste to touch, to break to be
slumber in thought, how great would it be to be thirteen
we echo in a sour hum as i felt you on a different frequency
we seemed to be all but nothing
the feeling of absolutely
i take to your creed
wondering if you had feelings
i taste the emotion, things were spoken without words
the birds turned their cards, the guards felt too hard
your walls tremble with gratitude
ideas begin assemble
you were symbolism, the devil
my temple and a vessel of stressful
