spinning in fragments of your mind
wandering far but close behind
from streets we twirl
a feign i dare
to feel you against my skin
a dark thought like shadows climb my mind
i used to be twenty-two
you used to be a little too
with a different depth than i
and i twirled in subconsciousness
in your darkened bathroom
a top a marble floor
sliding near but far
echoing thoughts from baseboards
of 16 foot ceilings
and i never told a soul
of your name
i never speak writings the same
it was damp culture
a sullen mind
two echoes twisting in bits
i reminisce in this, a kiss and bliss
warm sheets against my skin
cold backs and we twist
i love, i lose, and i move
towards things which culture me
your name plays in my mind
occasionally
i never took it personally
i knew you were never meant for me
January 2020
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Read more: untitled post 100
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Read more: untitled post 101
spinning in actions, i only feel the tension
of a head in rotation on a bed twisted sideways
i lean to touch your heart
yet i feel the void of nothing at all
to spin or to fall or to even love at all?
i break your neck in my mind at night
you used to happen somewhere around midnight
wading in hopeless as you used to
just like i felt used, too
nothing made sense, i’ve said it again
i shadow at your bend, ringing corners again
your heels at my head, i push
sometimes it feels good to feel like this
i like your masochism like i like your lips
against my skin at night, pillows against my mouth—
to speak in tongues and i quake for the devil to tell me
things you said in shadows of corners in alleys i walk by
you used to whisper things in passing
i pretend to not hear as i’m not quite here
i’m there sometimes, i’m swinging wine
dancing in the twilight in dark mines
echoes in your heart to fill the void
you’re a poltergeist but i disguise you to be
somewhat of pleasing to the eye of many
i show the signs and i’m dancing on fault lines
in broken down rooms where you used to
fill something i needed but i’m here to be
with or without, near or far, dark or light
being to breathe, feigning to be me
under the skies at night is when i find time
to think of you in depth, in the quietness
your eyes atop mine, your body against mine
my warmth for your cold, things i said
words you couldn’t hold
a spine which could bend for men other than i
we twist and i kiss
goodbye to you
broken down memories of you
how i know you felt used, too -
Read more: untitled post 102
i’m lying on your lips
on the edge of the bed
painted by blues of a damp hue
like your edges atop mine
waves pushing against i
and i tango in your breath
to feel something i used to reminisce
your heart against mine
the wind against i
dancing in motions
on a dark winded roller coaster
i used to paint you black
to pull the edges back
pick your brain in the evening
to see if this would be worth keeping
i used to say we’d die in time
knowing it all goes too fast
like broken ribs on a race track
where you’re in circles
with cracks dividing your moments
feels like depression on your back
swaying in twists, in mists
in a numbness you happen to control
you miss what you can’t have
you miss what you used to have
do i ever miss what i did have
i do, i did
i can still feel it
i’ve still touched it
and i didn’t remember your name in the moment
which felt like power
yet it was something softer
it was your wind against mine
but it seems like
mine was always a bit softer
and your name happened to be
something people get over
