The darkest hours bring the most light.
December 2018
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Read more: untitled post 134
i find you in soft error
in ways i can’t remember
like edges of tables
they exist but we don’t beg to ask
we frolic in ways
i can’t quite grasp
and i’m pulling on weights in my mind
wondering if this is right
if time divides or collides our truths
we’re swaying in the backyard
wandering far from where we hide
two in kind, two in a high tide
and i fight to break the walls we create
in nights of summer where things become
a slight bit warmer
like the sheets of your bed
glide against your shins
and i’m laying my leg against your body
we’re creating warmth without thought
and the tables have edges
without thought
do things fall before they fly
or do they fly before they fall
i’m spinning in my mind
with questions i can’t remember
temptation in december
with years on my life
movement on my mind
and i’m swaying
alone
but it’s fine
you in thought
you in past lives
we regret because we can’t fill voids
but i don’t regret
i love, i lust, i fill molds in truth
you in plain view and past creates present
past love is the definition of present -
Read more: untitled post 135
to be at ease
of christmas eve
under darkened skies
where i think of you
like wine nights
easy cries
in the midst of memories
where we’re spinning
out of control
of hands we used to hold
do we linger or do we fall
do we hold or do we crawl
from past trauma of what it was
and i sip this like light
like i feel for smaller times
instead of dark nights
where i used to think of you
in shadows of corners
on balconies
where we’re hiding the truth
in which i dealt with you
throwing knives at walls
to necks where you
know what i’m talking about
and i miss the dark
as i long for light
because without dark
i do not know time
i do not know past
i do not know bad
i do not know what i truly have
you in mind
and it’s you all the time -
Read more: untitled post 136
in desire i found youth
upon your light twined mind
with ego i bend for you
before beds quake and oceans tide
under skies at night i wade for truth
to be okay with—
i find in moods at night
with songs of sultry in the background
in dark corners of an apartment
with dirty carpet
fine tuned minds we utter words
which make no sense
like dark knights on horses in forests
we dance to shadows
from waves which make movement
like we used to
and i feel used too
like a collective turned moment
where we’re spinning in motions
creating emotion by strangers in streets
running to abolish our meaning
but we’re defined by moments
created by longing emotion
from lovers of seconds to years
spinning wheels in streets
grabbing hands for warmth
for touch, for passion of nights
where we twine under sheets
to tango in skin
where bones touch
but feelings collide
and we fall in love for seconds
believing this is all but everything
but nothing at all -
Read more: untitled post 137
I loved myself and since I loved me, I loved him because I realized he was good for me. A type of self worth, a type of narcissistic love.
