i write about you and i see nothing
fade to oceans in a backwards view of you
twisting on sidewalks
running in a rhythm unbeknownst to you
blacking to a void where
i used to live without you
and we’re crying in rivers
but you’re underwater
it begins to numb like the melancholy hues
of the shadows of your bathroom
when the cold of the tile
touches your toes and i pulsate
for things to be real
so i write about you but i see nothing
like echoes in shells of the ocean
calling back to view
but a darkness trapped
in a void of nothing real
just repetitive moments stolen
in the back of your memories
like the walk from the room
where i left
and the blank
of your bookshelf

in our bones
is where suffering begins
aching in depth
for what it was again
from the start of where we were
in triumph for truth
basking in sin 
of our knees against him
between heartache and moons
in ponds where frogs skip
and i told him
where i wanted to be
and i told him
what i wanted from him
and what he told me
you never ask
for asking is desperation
and gradual connects
are what is meant
in the end

and i see them
ocean standby
with withered feathers
a broken pillow
oasis stature
i’m dying inside
for something to realize
it was nothing more
than what it was
my imagination
in limbo
seeking to occupy
emotions for loneliness
men in might
floating with satellites
out of an orbit
i used to memorize
like their hair in the wind
from the shower
with dripping water
conversing under
drowning in horror
of shower heads
in strangers motel rooms
i pretend
so the fumes won’t catch
and all of this
was just in my head

sitting on ash
of what it was
a surround sound
deep in your living room
with swimming water
no body parts
in a mix
twisting under metaphors
of your arms around my neck
lying on our bodies
fighting intuition
of sensual salvation
in form of yesteryears 
untoward broken necks
and invisible emotions
we held our ground
ran without running
lacking self-control
in an oasis of ourselves
they say
you have ninety days
until you realize each other
at eighty-nine
i realized myself