The moment I realized I lost you? I didn’t. You lost me.
October 2016
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My poetry was a sad mixture of us. A compound of what was and what could’ve been. Now they’re just a bittersweet moment that passed and really, that’s all I could ask for.
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i lie here
dreaming of things
which could’ve been
places we could’ve gone
holding your hand
a leg atop your lap
figuring life out
twirling in my mind
you slide from right to left
to the pits i ran from
the pause feels like death
feeling the grip
tight of my teeth
shivering for light
from this dark cold place
i ravage the memories
hating you
all the things you said
demeaning justification
tears which felt like–
i sway with a sweat
toes numb
hurts to be, i said
i used to be, i said
insecurities flood
anxiety builds
gut in my chest
i wasn’t crazy
until you made meanxious love
words by dominic riccitello -
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He called me crazy. A few times too many. To the point where I buckled thinking I was crazy. You can label me. You can yell at me. You can hurt me, but I’ll figure it out. I’ll run with the labels. I’ll run with the hurt. I’ll own it. I’ll love it. I’ll live with it knowing there was no real justification for any of it. Sticks and stones may break my bones, your words were always the hardest, but I got it. I’m here. Not there, but here. Not being, but becoming.
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The thing with toxic relationships is that the toxicity feels like fuel, and then you need it.
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i see you
dark corners at night
how i used to feel alive
it breaks the edges of my being
to feel you
it feels like something
creatures of the night
horrors i used to find
in crevices deep down
at the base of my heart
how you tugged with joy
creating feelings
of a harsh divine
i tango in your walls
letting it all flow
fucking your mind
i felt left behind
and now the muse is gone
shadows blind from the light
feels dark inside
the hollow of my spine
the vertebras you stole
i used to be aliveused to
words by dominic riccitello -
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Instead of appreciating things I did, he thought he deserved it. But the thing is, you don’t deserve anything.
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truth of the matter is
i’ll always dance for you
bending my knees
transitioning hallways
holding means
with you in mind
i wade with the wind
i feel you slip on thoughts
gliding across
your legs twined with sheets
the gray of your kitchen
light of your home
how a universe could crash
with worlds aligned
i heard you say
the hurt you said
i reminisce
your hand upon my lap
tuesday mornings
a kiss
we turned with tables
mixing chairs
when love was there
instead of flowing with the wind
being withinconsisting of many interconnecting parts or elements; intricate
words by dominic riccitello -
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shaken by the sea
waves of your mean
hands which laid beside
twirling your being
bleaching the stains clean
i hold your knees
grabbing your heart
three years of a dark
filled hole we called happiness
i loved your toxic
the scrutiny you tossed
with blood roses
you
which were a dime a dozen
frozen in the waves
that had rust the deepest parts
of my loveless soul
i felt you
glistening under
creating things
how i said we
instead of i
how i loved you more
and more
every dayresentful
words by dominic riccitello -
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The sad truth is moving on and knowing they’ll never love someone else as much as they loved you.
