It always kills me to write about the cemetery. That was the happiest day of my life. Thank you so much.
July 2014
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Read more: laughter
it was five am, he was awake and i was asleep
he lies in regret, covered in sweat holding thoughts in his head
while i hold my pillow close and another caresses my head
i’ve bled and this time it’s your turn to cry alone in bed
this time it’s you that wrecks and cracks and ends up dead from things i saidi’m done and you’re half past gone as i stroke my bomb and lie in calm
but once i kissed your palm and i had my fun, now i soak in the sun as you lie in blue
but you, i’ve had you and i know cues and i know when time is due
you’ve been used and bruised and now i’m amusedi smile as you play in excuses of how you once met cupid
but these lucid dreams are music to my ears and your fears are my game
you speak my name and i laugh at your pain
god, i was once foolish and clueless to your nuisancenow i dance with judas and laugh at my abusive nature
‘cause your pain is my gain and my name is your pain
i’ll remember our day, the way, the things, how i thought we were meant to be
i’ll never forget the emotional abuse and how you left without a clue
but i have too much class to say fuck youone day, out of the blue, i know you’ll think of me like i used to think of you
you’ll break down and cry just like i used to
laugher to my ears and your fears will be mine and i’ll flip my dime
think of our last time and remember how you treated me
but lastly, how you let go of the vine with such grime -
Read more: untitled post 1513
the touch of your hands and the grass, this and everything around us
with spirits of the night, just you and i
the pinot, the hors d’oeuvre, your might and my fright
the loose and you, the cool, the flow
i never knew you could love someone sothoughts never strayed, you and i — we go, sway with the night
the light as the moon shines, i’ve never felt this alive
i could cry, i could die and in this moment, it would be alrighti’m used to doors, but once they open i end up frozen by their potion
we lie in motion, the rotation was us — it was the warmth of the ocean that brought every emotion
they say one plus one equals two, but one of us only knew the word youthe dark blue, the movie, i truly don’t remember anything other than
the green glasses, how things happen and how your hair felt like satin
the way i looked at you is the way i knew that i love and it’ll always be you, from here to the moonall i am is walking pours that loves more than i should
holding things in rotation when i shouldn’t
but july thirteenth, the cemetery and the way you pressed against the door
i was always yours, but you were never mineregardless the metaphors i use, how i could kill you a thousand times
you kissed the bruise of something used by the luxury of nothingness
the things i’ll always miss and this and that and everything around us
your aura and the painstaking horror that controlled mebut i road, i knew and the phrase i love you will never mean enough
it’s tough but the road of happiness brought us and even if it was short
i’ll always remember the shirt, the red, everything we left behind
and even though i know you were never mine, it’s alright– “the cemetery” by dominic riccitello
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Read more: july 13
today’s our day, an anniversary and lonely memory of what used to be
july thirteenth comes and goes, i float – this ocean’s cold
i know it’s getting old and i know i’ve been told
but have you stroked the hair of something gold?the way i held your arm – once warm, the spark
dancing in the dark, your neck
i’ll never feel the way i did and maybe i should’ve known it then
the calls and all – how many times i heard, “leave your name”
the way you ignored, how you whored
it took so long to shut the door, but sometimes it opens
my emotions become broken and all you ever were was just this tokenbut now i re-enter focus and all i remember, words and motions
people have asked, but i don’t know which to use
i remember the day, the moment and everything spoken
but my expressions feel stolen and i can’t talk about you
i write, but my tongue lives in spite and my words tend to hidei believe i’ve seen the light and my soul mate has arrived
it’s fine to know they’ve come and gone and i know i’m cradling this bomb
but i’ve held my fright and occasionally in the night i happen to cry
my palms become sweaty and my thoughts are heavy and petty
but i realize i’ve experienced the most grand happinessjuly thirteenth might come and go, but my memories will stay forever
and when i’m in the hereafter and i look over my shoulder
i see the eyes of the beholder – i know the air won’t become colder
the long-lasting smolder won’t remind me of october
but the tears won’t be fears, just my happiness and i reminiscing about the way i stroked your hair -
Read more: creating dignity
i use words like might and maybe and never
but we both know i’ll love you forever
that these are just words i happen to bounce
you know i’d die, you know i’d take my lifei cried for miles and i walked the savannah
waited in the meadow of despair knowing you’ll never be there
felt your hair in the grass – ran and basked
sat in questions i never had the chance to aski live and i love and i kill and i die
time is never mine which is why i need a high
i flip my dime – i gave you all i had, but you sat
you laughed and never had the decency to exitnow i revel, i have my credits and i know i’m not pathetic
i was an object and essentially legless to your ethics
but honey, you can’t even afford a lexus
so i sit – why give him power he can’t afford?you know i’ll love you here and after, but here’s the door
i can’t do this anymore, you don’t deserve this war
you’re not a good guy and you’re not a bad guy
you are what you are and all i know is that i need to be far -
Read more: attention to sorrow
i reflect, i confess – recently i’ve used people as objects
only because his name has become etched in my chest
and i’m looking for emotional release, maybe some ease
a chance to give back my keys on this lease ‘cause this tease is more like wool than fleecei watch their eyes and i know i’ve done crimes
i know i’ve faced time and the bomb was just karma
but should i feel awful for normal or just face the horror?
i contest, but i never promised something i can’t keep
because i know knees and i take it deep and the sadness–you’re a canvas and everyone around is basking in their happiness
and the knife that they struck has become stuck
you watch and ask but there’s no time and there’s no need
everything becomes heavy and the canvas that you are is so emptyall i ask is for someone to understand and someone to demand
because life of utter despair and total black is like lying on tracks
waiting for a tiger to attack and kill your soul ever so slow
just promise to ask when someone’s eyes speak and their sadness is at your reach and all they ever wanted was someone to seebecause life as honey can only take so much smog
and the bees need the sun like we need our gun – our peace
and when we’re on our knees begging please and the guns at our head
will you ever rest knowing you had the chance to just ask? -
Read more: asleep
there’s something lovely about the way three am calls your name
how my therapist knows your game and all those words you played
but i sway, i speak your name — i don’t know afraid
lean back and relax as i bask in the thought of killing an exthey say i might be insane, but it’s not because i laugh at pain
or the way i say your name in utter disdain
i can play the game, i can reign
i can drink your blood and bathe in your veinsthey say it’s all in vain
how i kick back and relax in the thought of how many i’ve slain
i’m not insane, they’re all just mundane
it’s not my fault i like to kiss and then whisk their braini laugh — if only one day i forgot the cause of my distraught
possibly then i’d live without a cause, the hovering bomb would be lost
all the ghosts i’ve caused would no longer taunt and haunt
maybe then i could sit on a yacht, rot my skin and bleach my brain
kiss a shark and bask in the day when the words they spoke never caused painbut that’s all a hypothesis and maybe i just like the dominance
the way they scream my name
how prominent their bones become when i squeeze their waist
the way their eyes taste when they die
especially that tough guy that started to crybut then i awake and realize it was all just a dream
and the way they screamed through their teeth was just a theme
you might know my name, but you don’t know my flame
and you certainly don’t know my game the day i truly awake -
Read more: the pizza that never happened
fingers against my lips, your touch and chills
don’t speak — i feel words beginning to slip
i’m not glib, i’m not something you can hit and quit
but for some reason i still write to the tune of youthey say some poems are better left unread
that some thoughts are better left unsaid
you could cut off my head, lie my body in the bed of an old pickup
but you’ll never kill my spirit or take my wordshere, forever and always
roaming hallways, writing stories about empty doorways
the awkward and all the holidays
back to florida, august and coffee
the way the water crept upon mei still taste your lips, your breath and the thoughts unsaid
how we never baked that pizza, the sauce and how i sat at loss
my thoughts shoot across, you know i’d never double cross
that i’d hold your hand through cancer and even if i never had the right answer
you know i’m always here, forever and afteri realize every factor and know this life’s just another chapter
i believe somewhere, sometime — maybe in madagascar
it’ll register why and who knows, maybe a few seconds later i’ll die
but my eyes will see the light, they’ll understand right and wrong
i’ll comprehend the song, but more importantly why i loved you all along -
Read more: i know who killed me
hiding from the light, my body curves with the dark
lips against the ground, i haven’t had enough
the rush of it all, make it rough
touch my face, lick my eyes, give me your thoughts
i want everything you gotlooking from above, i can’t wake up
they discuss — i tell ‘em to shut up, but they can’t hear
i’m here, floating and waving my gun
i yell, but why won’t they run?pull the trigger, but the gun’s a dud
where the fuck’s my fun?
i haven’t had enough, i haven’t had my fun
wake up, but i can’t hearparamedics arrive, this time my knife
i stab and i strike, but it doesn’t even tap
i thrust, but it turns to dust
i’ll never have enough, i’ll never corrupt
i’ll always live in disgust of what once was
that i never got to crush the jaws of something so plushi love, but it’s never faux and my door, it never knocked
life’s a struggle, but i never haggled
i told myself to waddle, to paddle, to never crumble or gravel
especially for something or someone that lives with an unnerving battle for flipping the channelbut it’s alright, i had my highs, my lows and many nights
never sat with fright, but i had my white and my black
forever my light and my sad, but i stop and realize
i’d like to exit this life without the mad and hopefully enter my next
without the bad and without a shoulder padthis goes for show that although i know who killed me
i’ll never let them take everything away from me
and that they’ll never have the dying love that made me, meyou might be the bee and i might be the honey
you can take all that you have from me
but sadly you’ll never actually have me
as i float with the sea and realize i finally found the key
