i miss you every day, i go in and out of pain
and realize there’s no way
i can’t blame this pain, i can’t keep riding this train
i can’t hold these reins
and this brain, it can only take so much rain
you reign my heart so unbelievably hard
it’s hard to restart when you’re so far from the start
as if i need black arts for this bleeding heart
i sit pleading, looking so needy
i sit bleeding, looking so greedy
all i want is for you to need me, want me freely
i’m not looking for charity, all i want is clarity
rarity, in this city, you must find it sparingly
looking ever so daringly, i write about you, lyrically
no vulgarity, one day, you’ll find how much i loved you
it’ll be historically, the verity may hold severity, but honey
metaphorically, this love is just blood money
and i’ll live in the agony of its epitome, essentially the imagery
amicably, i seize for you to live vividly
differently, but i’ll be ahead, watching ever so viciously
the ability to live brilliantly, occasionally timidly
looking back in sympathy, living in chivalry, i’ll order a symphony
and hope you’ll find a decent sense of sensibility
November 2013
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Read more: living in chivalry
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Read more: don’t look back, tempe
patience
my patient, there’s changes
my angel, we’ve waited ages
my nation, my foundation
i’ll always wait for you at the station
occasions will pass, impatience won’t last
i’ll look at my glass, half full instead of half empty
half crazy, half amazing
there’ll be plently
but i’ll still hope i’ll see you
whenever i’m in tempe
i’ll look gently, so don’t look back
it’ll be deadly and i’ll feel empty
no longer twenty
i can’t afford
to spend another penny
on you, the one i adore
‘cause i’m already poor, lost, full of exhaust
on the floor, wishing you shut the door
so i wouldn’t look for you
anymore -
Read more: meet me in target pt. 2
you’re in my dreams
in those jeans
feeling so mean
holding a lein
over my soul
you have total control
and it’s causing a toll
place me on parole
have no self-control
no one can console
i’m so enrolled in you
all i want is to be sold
done feeling cold
i can only withhold
and uphold for so longi don’t know why
i miss you so much
but regardless
i promise, i’m harmless
honest
i hope it comes true
and one day
i meet your twin in target -
Read more: when i killed you
i had a dream
it was left unsaid
it bled
black
i watched you
a talking head
don’t look back
it’s black
feel it
panic attack
smother it
love it
suffer in it
black
heart attack
fall back
ain’t coming back
hear the humming
feels numbing
i’m becoming
it’s nothing
stop running
the buzzing
it’s something
you know nothing
it’s coming
it’s not loving
here we go
it’s crushing
the blood
it’s gushing
look at me
i’m blushing
but remember
i know nothing -
Read more: poltergeist
i don’t
i won’t
i couldn’t
i wouldn’tbut that was pointless
‘cause i’d been poisoned
i drank the potion
heard the voices
they called from the ocean
a beautiful suicide
it was like i ran until i died
lost all my pride
ran beside the ghoul of the night
no surprise, it was beautiful
the way i died, so unusual
but it was so crucial
the ride, the way i tried
the tide, it would subside
and i’d reside near the south side
i’d take it by storm
free of form
’cause honey, i’m no longer alive
and i’ll transform into a violent storm
and occasionally
i’ll take a satanic turn
and i’ll make you feel the burn
make you yearn
i’ll scorn and make you regret being born
make you mourn
dangle the rope
and make you lose all hope
you’ll just have to cope
’cause honey
now i’m controlling
and i ain’t folding
so you better start going
’cause i’ve only just started
and this time, i ain’t faint-hearted -
Read more: as you played in your hats
i’ve never written about you
except that time
when you weren’t there
its been a few years
i got distracted in someone else
guess i put them above
it was real love
didn’t mean to dispose of
or fall in love
but regardless
you were an artist
kind of heartless
but i had a harness
you were harmless
might have been obsessed with you
yeah, i had sex with you
i could have guessed
you’d cause distress
but alas, it didn’t last
glad i dodged all your hats -
Read more: should have listened
busted out in tears
thinking about you
and how you’re not here
and you won’t be
and it sucks
‘cause you’re the only one
i ever talked to
and now i’m lonely
living coldly
not sure how it’s going
i wonder if you’re watching closely
i couldn’t talk at the ceremony
you know me
i’m still holding, mostly… slowly
been living slightly boldly
just looking for someone to hold me
for now, i guess i’ll be a bit lonely
but eventually, i’ll find something
that won’t be phony
and it’ll be quite homely -
Read more: talking to him
succumbed to death upon my arrival
here i go shunned through the revolving
this is the way i go, no problem solving
no evolving
i said hello
him, he said, let it go
dead
i know, i know, it was left unsaid
do you want to get ahead
blood, like venetian red
i said, take me before i go
can you close a revolving door
can you adore a whore
can you explore through a trapdoor
can you stop a third world war
no, but i still twirled through
the spiritual world
i entered
a brand new world -
Read more: dinner with an empty soul
“what are you looking at”
i laugh
“nothing, just your face”
i watched the sadness consume your soul
the gloom, shut the door
sat in the control room
no common room
just find me in the dinning room
all alone
wearing my favorite cologne
in my zone
you postpone
should have known -
Read more: a second beginning
you walked to the car
and i opened the door
is that when i was chosen
‘cause your eyes
they looked frozen
i was broken
but i wanted a moment
no longer a lost soul
in this ocean
i wanted to be open
find something new
and be interwoven
feel an explosion
leave an erosion
you walked closer
laughed
i didn’t want to crash
so i held on to my raft
don’t want to move too fast
i want something to last
no longer feel slashed
so here we go
i’ll start a new draft
