November 2013

Nov 23, 2013

looks

essentially a six, a thousand in my eyes
allies of the night, in your disguise
chastise, i need to hear it from someone wise
the cries hover like flies in the night sky
my prize with thick thighs
the demon, i watch rise
i spy, i cry, i die, but eventually i rise
and the thousand, it’s still in my eyes
not sure why, july

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Nov 22, 2013

death bed

the red blanket, it was your casket
the last few, you lived in another planet
i stood with my hands in my pockets, wondering
the thoughts were thundering
your soul was getting ready to rocket
i’m not a prophet, but death was the only option
sat there, looked at you, unconcious
looked with caution, you’ll never be forgotten
i know these things happen, people go and become absent
we’re only atoms, your soul ends up in a remote cabin
there may be dragons, but you’ll find a balance
we begin to sadden, but it’s okay
‘cause i know life is a challange
and i know damage, i’ve been savage
so i look back, remember your talent
remember there was no baggage, we were never passive
i’ll occasionally remember your habits, laugh and imagine
you were never heartless and you loved me even at my hardest
when i suffered through the darkness
never wordless and told me these things happen
you need to take chances, don’t abandon
because you have passion, my bandit

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Nov 22, 2013

i do not

I DO NOT HATE YOU
I DO NOT REGRET YOU
I DO NOT HOPE THE WORST FOR YOU
I DO NOT WANT TO KILL YOU
I DO NOT WANT TO HIT YOU
I DO NOT WANT BAD FOR YOU
my all american, i just wish i had

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Nov 21, 2013

if dreaming were easy

i don’t blame it all on you
i don’t claim it was entirely you
all i do is proclaim that i love you
it was a fair game, i should have listened
should have seen the flame diminish
but all i saw was the aura glisten as i became twisted
imprisoned i stood, it was a new condition
i commissioned as i partitioned myself into you
but you shouldn’t have stiffened and went missing
told me you were busy in some city
it was convincing, here i am reminiscing
i’m rather too forgiving
all i do is miss us kissing
i guess i’ll see you when i’m dreaming
my eyes will be gleaming
it’ll be pleasing

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Nov 21, 2013

contortion from a businessperson

“you have 5 minutes”
was this business, did i push your limits?
are you looking for quickness, a mistress?
where’s your interest?
your face liked my kisses, this should be forbidden
is there something hidden, something unwritten?
is there something stricken, do you have a sickness?
you acted smitten, we had rhythm
standing in the kitchen, leaning over the fridge
no one around to witness, just listen…
the experience, it came with wisdom
the brilliance, there went my nervous system
was this relationship lip service
gained so much courage, sat in a furance
a normal person, i was ever so certain
but it seems you lead me around a circus
all on purpose, there was no surface
you never even called the curtain
you left me so uncertain
i always felt like i was a burden
i guess there was a version of you i didn’t know
you simply lived in first person, i in second
i ran around in circles, let’s call it contortion
thank you, my businessperson

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Nov 20, 2013

100

don’t judge me if you see me crying
‘cause you don’t know what it feels like to be dying
this heart, it’s trying, this soul, it’s frying
these eyes, they’re lying, this life, it’s flying
it’s temporary and these memories, they’re accessories
i’m not looking for the directory, to follow the trajectory
this century, it’s like living in a penitentiary, constant treachery
and for us to be, it’s not easy, the exemplary
it’s supplementary because i’ve seen things that aren’t meant to be
living by example, it’s amble, but every once in a while
you take a gamble and you might lose it all, living in shambles
but at least you took a chance and sampled
instead of living by an example

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Nov 20, 2013

prior to asphyxiation

i talk about you all the time, wherever i go
this climb, it gets old and i know it’s wrong
but i go days without you, dates without you
but you’re always there, you’re all i think about
your morning routine, how you are, what you’re doing
how you move, the way you walk, the way you talk
the most insane situations play through my head
i think about how i became… this day, this strain, it drains
and then about how obsessed i become with people
i never would have guessed that i’d ride this quest
so i pull out my passport, but i remember it has a rapport with the door
it begins to feel like a chore, you, the one i adore
i get stuck in my memories and i see you in people, becoming rather feeble
so i turn up the volume on my tv so i don’t get lost in my thoughts
but you still seem to fly across, as i sleep, i turn on white noise
and take ambien because i start to hyperventilate
and all i’m looking for is to be able to alienate
before i asphyxiate

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Nov 20, 2013

death after a relationship

there are things i repress, but here i confess
i’m scared you’ll die and i won’t know
i’ll eventually ask about you, unprepared
i’ll hear the news, you weren’t spared
i lie impared, i declare, i’ll always love our affair
playing with your hair, your stare
there goes a tear, i fear there are things i’m not aware
and things you hid, i feel like you held the lid tight
here i write, i fright, that you might…
i can’t say it outright, but i feel like you’re aware
of these things in my head, ‘cause as we laid in bed
as i secretly dread, all these things floating
because you didn’t want to be holding
this weight over my head
and i feel like i’m coating, but i don’t want to be probing
or cloaking, but you left me soaking, here i am eroding
coping and hoping i won’t hear this news
about my muse

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Nov 19, 2013

next time i won’t be so intense

i know you’re scared
i know i went there
i know it’s not fair
feels like i’m in times square
no one’s aware
and there’s no open air
felt like i was walking on air
but sitting in an electric chair
guess i should prepare
for despair
next time i’ll watch so i don’t scare
sit in my black chair
try not to compare
everything to your debonair
i swear, i declare
the next love affair
won’t feel like a questionnaire
won’t sit in a swivel chair
it’ll take till next year
i’ll veer
make sure it’s all clear
shift the gear
now for something sincere
i hope you take care

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Nov 19, 2013

i want to live (a real life)

have you ever wanted to wake up ugly, be nothing
be bloody, live in the country, secluded
be chubby and eat when you’re hungry
have a pet monkey, be funny and have no money
no longer be in the company of puppetry
‘cause i think it sounds lovely to essentially have nothing
maybe that’s crazy and maybe that’s lazy
but i go crazy and just want to run through african daisies
’cause this life is hazy and i just want something amazing
and by amazing, i don’t mean hell raising, only embracing
we’re aging and maybe this sounds insane
but i have a brain and i don’t want to ride a train
i want to feel my veins and live… ok?

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